A warm hello,
Today is the day after Valentine’s Day and for the past couple of days I have been pausing to think about all the many women, widow friends and widow coaching clients I have had the good fortune to know and love. It seems to always strike some personal cord (a feeling or emotion) within us as holidays, anniversaries and a day such as Valentine’s Day are upon us, doesn’t it?
Chocolates, flowers, balloons, the words “I love you”, a simple smile or a hug…are what many of us wish for on Valentine’s Day. To love and to be loved. For me, I admit, I go for all that “cliche” stuff. Romance, a hug and a flower or two had and have put smiles on my face for many years.
When my husband Rory died, Valentine’s Day was another reminder (not that I needed any more reminders ofcourse, as it was clearly evident in every step I took and every breathe I took) that he was not here. I found myself the first couple of years putting fresh flowers in my home, from me to myself and from me to my son Ryan. That felt good on a Valentine’s Day. I began celebrating Valentine’s with my friends and enjoyed writing Valentine little cards to my son’s Kindergarten classmates. Although “alone” and no longer married, I began to find the love all around me.
Recently I was reminded of 2 quotes which stick with me. It was during the 2007 movie “PS. I Love You” where a young widow discovers that her late husband has left her 10 messages intended to ease her pain and help her start a new life. The first quote is when actress Kathy Bates (Patricia) provides these words to Hillary Swank her grieving widowed daughter (Holly) …”So now, all alone or not, you gotta walk ahead. Thing to remember is, if we’re all alone, then we’re all together in that too.” My takeaway is this, no matter what, we are not alone.
Each widow walks her own path and it is her own personal journey. What ever choices, decisions and actions you are taking or not taking, be sure they are in your best interest. That you give yourself a well deserved hug and take good care of yourself for today and for tomorrow. Remember, you are not alone.
The second quote is from Holly’s late husband Gerry and it states “Don’t be afraid to fall in love again”. So be open to love again…to love your life…your work…your family…your friends…and another man again if you choose.
Coach Corner:
Remember, you are not alone. Reach out to others.
Warmly,
Colleen Phillips
Certified Coach, CPCC, ACC, CPBA
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